


The Space Between

by stormysgambit



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, angst-ish maybe, because i can't keep them in pain like that, i don't know if we call this angst or not, it ends happy though, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:55:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27409945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormysgambit/pseuds/stormysgambit
Summary: A brief look at how long distance worked out for Tooru and Hajime and their contemplation of the future
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	The Space Between

Hajime had known as soon as Tooru had called him when he landed in Argentina that he had lost him, that Tooru was likely never coming back to Japan. He knew this, and yet, it doesn’t stop him from being completely taken aback when Tooru tells him he is applying for Argentinian citizenship. It doesn’t stop his chest from tightening so much that it feels like he can no longer breathe, the words he knows Tooru wants to say to him lingering heavy in the air. He won’t say them though, at least, not over the phone.

It was easier, back when Hajime was in school in California, to find stolen pockets of time in which they could be together, during the offseason for Tooru, or over Hajime’s school breaks. They would rotate between the two locations, sometimes hopping on a flight on pure whim, to do nothing more than spend time in each other’s arms. It pained them more than either of them could put into words, not being able to truly be there for the other over anything other than the phone for the first time in their lives. What little time they were able to squeeze into their schedules to see each other, they told themselves that was enough.

Hajime can remember, like it was yesterday, the day he told Tooru he was moving back to Japan. After graduation, Hajime took time off before applying for jobs, deciding first to spend time in Argentina with Tooru. He had caught glimpses of it over the years, and could see why Tooru loved the country so much, the way of life, so different from how they had grown up in Japan. Tooru had always shone brightly, but here, with nothing holding him back and without the shadows of anyone else hanging over him, he was now positively radiant. The more he went, the more Hajime could feel himself falling in love with Argentina too. The more he could see a life for himself there, and not just because of Tooru.

Hajime had three options, the way he looked at it. He could stay in America, he could move back to Japan, or he could stay in Argentina with Tooru. His parents had urged him to return to Japan after graduation, but he had deferred, at least at first, wanting to make up for some of the time he and Tooru had lost. He had made up his mind, they had been apart long enough. That’s what he told himself anyways. But that little voice in the back of his mind told him he should apply to jobs in Japan, just in case.

There would be no lucky breaks for the two of them, the fates instead choosing to present Hajime with a better job opportunity if he moved back to Japan. He had always been the more practical of the two of them, finding comfort in stability, weighing his options heavily before making his decisions, while Tooru would rush headlong into whatever happened to catch his eye, never worrying about what may happen should he fall. 

Tooru was leaning over the balcony of his apartment, rays of early morning sun catching his hair so that it gleamed. Hajime lay in bed, admiring the rippling of his back muscles, how tanned his skin had become, and though he couldn’t see them, the smattering of freckles. Tooru’s stance was completely relaxed, and Hajime wished he could keep him there like that forever, instead of shattering the illusion. 

More than anything, he can remember the smile on Tooru’s face when he had turned around upon hearing Hajime call his name, pure and unbridled. And then mere seconds later, watching Tooru’s face crumple as the smile disappeared as when Hajime uttered the words “I’m moving back to Japan.” There was a brief moment where Tooru’s face was nothing but pain and confusion before he quickly managed to twist it back into some semblance of a smile, the kind Hajime had always hated and hadn’t seen in years, simply saying “I understand Iwa-chan.”

They never chose to end it, the physical distance between them growing, making everything harder, and some days, almost unbearable. It was easier, when they were younger, to hold onto the fairytale, pretending the space between them was fine, but they were growing up, the fairytale had to end eventually. Tooru has told Hajime many times since that day, he doesn’t want to hold him back, that Hajime is free to move on. The more settled Hajime gets with his job, the harder it becomes to justify leaving. They both know Tooru isn’t coming back, the only thing for Tooru in Japan is Hajime. For Hajime though, Japan is home, and he has a steady job with good pay. The only thing his life here is missing is Tooru. Tooru has never asked Hajime to choose between him and Japan. Somehow they’ve always made it work, this distance. But now, there is a finality to it when Tooru says he is going to become nationalized, he is asking Hajime to choose once and for all.

Weeks stretch out in a maddening silence, neither of them reaching out to the other, leaving both of them alone with only their thoughts while the other side of their bed remains cold. It is the longest they have ever gone without speaking to each other, both afraid of what they may hear. Hajime is supposed to be visiting Tooru in Argentina soon, but instead of the excitement, discussions of how they are going to fill their time, and heavily flirtatious banter, there is only silence, which hangs heavy in the air. If they are going to end things after all this time, they owe it to each other to do it in person. Hajime packs his bags, as always, and leaves them by the door, an ominous presence. The only communication between them in the days before Hajime is supposed to leave is Tooru asking him if he is still coming and Hajime providing him with his flight information.

When they reunite at the airport Hajime can tell Tooru has been crying. Though his eyes are dry now, they are red and puffy, the tip of his nose also red. It’s been a few months since they have seen each other, Hajime can tell Tooru has lost weight since then. There are bags under his eyes, he hasn’t been sleeping well either. There is no frantic run into each other’s arms, they do not hold each other as if afraid to let go. They kiss, but it is short and static, a quick peck on the lips, devoid of the usual eagerness. 

The drive back to Tooru’s house is filled with more silence, Hajime resting his head against the glass of the window, drifting off to sleep, lulled by the motion of the car. Tooru raps softly against the window letting Hajime know when they have arrived. In the past Tooru would carry him inside without waking him up, placing him on his bed and climbing in next to him, wrapping his arms around Hajime while he slept.

Hajime follows Tooru inside, and sits not next to him on the couch, but in a chair across from him. Tooru is looking at him, but only just, his eyes weary, shoulders slumped forward in defeat. This is the most broken Hajime has ever seen him. Not even when they were in high school, after all those losses to Shiratorizawa, not after they lost to Karasuno, has Hajime ever seen Tooru like this. It is as though even the slightest gust of wind will cause him to shatter. And it is Hajime who has made him like this. Tooru doesn’t take his eyes off of Hajime when he finally speaks, his voice soft and resigned. “It’s okay Iwa-chan, I know.”

When he hears these words, something inside Hajime snaps. “No. You don’t know.” Hajime raises his voice, but he isn’t yelling, not quite, which almost makes it worse. “You do not know what I want and you do not get to run away from me.” Tooru flinches at the harshness of his voice. “I knew years ago you weren’t coming back. Do you think I would have stuck around this long if I wasn’t sure?” He can see tears starting to gather in the corners of Tooru’s eyes. “You have given me every opportunity to walk away because you didn’t want to be selfish, but you placing the decision on where we’re headed now, after all this time, may be the most selfish thing you’ve ever done.”

He’s gone too far, he realizes, as the words leave his mouth, watching as the tears spill down Tooru’s cheeks. He reaches out for Tooru’s hands, but Tooru shies away from him. Tooru’s hands are shaking when he manages to catch hold of them. “I’ve waited for you,” Hajime whispers, bringing one of Tooru’s trembling hands to his lips, softly kissing each of his knuckles. “I’m asking you to do the same now.” He rubs his thumb along the back of Tooru’s hand, staring into Tooru’s eyes, still wide with fear. “I’ve been offered a job with the national team. After the Olympics, after that, regardless of the outcome, I’ll be here. I can’t give you up Tooru, I love you too much. And somewhere over all these years, I’ve grown to love it here as well. We can have our home here. Just a little bit longer. And then, we’ll be able to be together all the time, no more distance between us. Can you do this for me?”

Tooru nods, his face still twisted up in that heart wrenching combination of pain and anxiety, though it slowly transitions towards relief as he fully processes what Hajime has just told him. Tooru is sobbing as Hajime pulls him closer, he can feel Tooru’s body go slack once he is back in Hajime’s arms. “We’ll be okay,” Hajime murmurs into Tooru’s hair, holding him tight as he shudders. “Just a little bit longer. We’ll be okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> In my head they are happily married and living in Argentina now and you will pry this thought out of my cold dead hands
> 
> You can find me on twitter [stormysgambit](https://twitter.com/stormysgambit)


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